Book – The subtle art of not a giving F*ck (Review)
Author – Mark Manson
Genre – Self-help Book
Published in – 2016
The subtle art of not giving a f*ck presents a different approach to leading good life than many other self-help books I have read so far. It is amazing to read the counter approach to what I have read and think of many things from a different perspective.
The book shows the mirror and gets us face to face with facing what we need to face, hear what we need to hear, even though we never like it, yet crucially important to our growth, sanity, and happiness.
As I read the book, I felt like am having a personal chat with a friend and got good, blunt advice with humor.
About the Book –
Marks suggests that the key to a good life is not giving a f*ck more; it’s giving a f*ck less, giving a f*ck only what is true and immediate and important.
The book explains how to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively—how to pick and choose what matters to you and what does not base on finely honed personal values, which is not as simple as it sounds.
When Mark says don’t give a f*ck anything, he means to choose what you decide to give a f*ck, as we all have limited time here and we can only give a f*ck a few things.
Few Key points from the book
The book is full of straight advice and shares a wonderful perspective of looking at things that matter.
1) Happiness is the Problem-
- Mark explains that thinking and waiting for something to come and we will be happy for good is myth. Happiness comes from solving a problem and not from problem free life.
- Happiness is in solving the problem, coming to better problems and not to avoid it. As he says formula to happiness is “solve problem; be happy”. But most people are in denial and victim hood mode all the time, instead of solving the problem.
- Happiness is in the action, its form of activity. True happiness occurs only when you find the problems you enjoy having and enjoy solving.
2) The Backward Law –
- With the help of backward law of Alan watts, Mark explains that chasing and wanting happiness is to remain stuck in the wanting state. Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience.
- Negative emotions are a call to action. When you feel them, it’s because you’re supposed to do something. Positive emotions, on the other hand, are rewards for taking the proper action.
3) Self-awareness onion –
Mark explains self-awareness and different layer with a simple yet powerful example of Onion. As there are different layers to the onion, so is self-awareness.
- Outer Layer – like what makes you feel good or bad.
- Second Layer – is to ask why we feel the way we feel under any situation, these questions are comparatively more difficult to answer than the first.
- The third and deeper full of tears is of our personal values. It takes time and ongoing effort to reach and deal with this layer. As everything we are, and do, depends on it and hence to deal with third layer is of utmost importance.
- We should start with one layer at a time, and as we get better at knowing ourselves, We can handle deeper layers better.
4) Shitty Values –
- Mark has explained values and it’s role and how our life depends on it with great examples. It definitely helped me looks at things differently.
- Values like pleasure, material success, always being right, staying positive—are poor ideals for a person’s life. Some of the greatest moments of one’s life are not pleasant, not successful, not known, and not positive.
- Our priorities will depend on what we value more – immediate pleasure or long term happiness. What values we prioritize over other values will define our flow of life and how content we will be.
5) Choices We Make –
- We all deep down knows that we constantly make choices. When we pick problems on our own we are empowered by it, and when problems are forced on us we feel victimized.
- Whether we like it or not, we are always taking an active role in what’s occurring to and within us.
6) The Responsibility/Fault Fallacy –
- Loved the line from the book – Many people may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever responsible for your unhappiness, but you.
- Mark explains that we can choose to find fault in every situation, person or take responsibility and make things better. Putting Spider-Man Movie quote “With great power comes great responsibility” in reverse way “With great responsibility comes great power”.
7) Do Something Principle –
- Mark suggests doing something about problems by quoting his math teacher Mr. Packwood “If you’re stuck on a problem, don’t sit there and think about it; just start working on it. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, the simple act of working on it will eventually cause the right ideas to show up in your head.”
- This line sum it up doing something principle well – Action isn’t just the effect of motivation; it’s also the cause of it.
I have also created a video of a few quotes from the book – Hope you like it. Please do subscribe to my YouTube channel – Myread4change
This is one of the best books I have read lately, which made me think and question my point of view on many things like how I pursue my goals and problems.
I strongly recommend this book. You will get a lot to ponder upon and more importantly ask questions that will make you think what you give a f*ck about?
Do leave your suggestions/feedback of this review in the comment or if you have any questions and I will gladly answer them.
Wish you a great life.