What You Think of Me is None of My Business Summary

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Book – What You Think of Me is None of My Business (Summary)

Author – Terry Cole-Whittaker

Genre – Self-help Book

Published in – 1979

“You’ll be less concerned with what others think of you, once you realize how seldom they do”

What you think of me is none of my business empowers us to break through from slavery of others’ opinions and dive into power within ourselves to guide us.

Once realized it can empower us to be comfortable in our skin, take others’ opinions as an opinion and not let our life run by it. We give away our power to others by depending on their approval.

Terry cole - whittaker photo

About the Author

Terry Cole-Whittaker is considered to be one of the premier inspirational and spiritual teachers and empowerment speakers in the world.

Her Emmy winning television ministry, With Love, Rev. Terry, aired on four hundred stations, reached millions, and inspired many to pursue a life of service, life coaching, spiritual teaching, and healing.

About the Book

Terry claims that despite having power within all of us, we depend on others’ approval and mistake what others want for us into what we want for ourselves.

She explains why instead of having this power within us we seem going downhill and why that is unnecessary and in fact, unnatural.

She talks about the power within all of us and how you can use it to be, what you want to be, to do what you want to do, and to have what you want in life.

Few Key Points From The Book

1) Power Within Us

  • She explains most of the choices we make are unconscious and it is also the purpose of book to heighten consciousness, self-awareness, so that we can choose consciously. Become beneficiary of Change rather than victim of it.
  • You may not have discovered it yet, but life is not “fair.” Yet life is “just.” Your life is in your hands. The power is there. The potential is there waiting for you to direct it.
  • One of the biggest obstacles we create in our lives is our resistance to change. Most of us combat change from the day we are born until the day we die.

2) Abundance is Your Birth Right

  • Terry claims that our belief about our decision about us and life determines the quality of our life. All the people who are having trouble with abundance have bought it in to scarcity belief, i.e there is not enough for everyone.
  • When you discover a belief, examine it. Ask yourself: “Who says this is true? Is this a law or only a belief?” If the belief isn’t producing what you want, discard it. In its place, create a new belief, one you truly want to have produced in your world.
  • Don’t blame yourself for the situations you have created, just accept them. And don’t try to lay the blame on other people, places, and things.

3) Get Rid of Guilt

  • There are two kinds of guilt: real guilt and false guilt. Both can be intensely painful, and either may offer you an opportunity to transcend pain and know the ultimate experience of total love and self-expression.
  • False Guilt – False Guilt is that guilt which is laid upon you by others in their efforts to control you and to make you responsible for their lives.
  • Real Guilt – Real Guilt is when you deny another person his liveliness, his natural ability, his happiness and self-expression; when you deny other persons the support, they need to believe in themselves.
  • Organized religion has created and perpetuated the belief that only the “right kind” of people will receive God’s love and blessings. The trouble is that it is other people – not God – who are making the judgments about who is and what makes a “right” person.

4) Others Are Not Your Source

  • Self-reliance depends on the deep conviction that others are not responsible for our happiness. Even though we need others to co-create life, God, our higher self is the real source from which all is fulfilled.
  • We mistake other people for the source or our good and end up giving away our powers to them.
  • To re-gain our self-reliance Terry suggests we give up two things –

1. You must give up every bit of self-hate, self-dislike, self-disapproval.

2. You must give up your obsessive need for approval from people other than yourself. These include your mate, your children, your friends, your parents, the people you work with, your neighbours and everyone else.

5) Certainty of Purpose

  • Terry suggests having certainty of purpose lead to inner peace, power and love that we seek. It means having confidence that we can attain our goals, and have the abilities to learn and pursue what we want.
  • As we deflect from this certainty, we let others influence us and believe in our inabilities and give up on our dreams or become overly depended on others.

She describes energies as three basic flows: The Helping Flow, The Crossing Flow, and The Opposing Flow.

  • Helping Flow – Terry suggests in this game of life others work as avenues, many times we simply reject the idea, just to make a point, or we didn’t come up with it first. She advises looking at all the helps that comes neutrally, evaluate them and say yes/no accordingly and give credit appropriately.
  • Crossing Flow – This is the gossip, criticism, the negative energy that can knock us off balance and keep us there – if we let it. We spend lot of energy clarifying gossips, convincing others of its falsity. As mentioned in “Resisting Happiness” by Matthew Kelly, if you know the path you are walking is in line with what God would approve. Walk on.
  • Opposing Flow – The third energy flow (a great deflector) is the opposing flow. “You can’t do that and I won’t let you.” Sound familiar? If you spend your energy trying to destroy the opposition, you can create much misery and sickness for yourself and others.

7) Argue For Your Limitations and They are Yours

  • We only feel trapped by our circumstances, when we forget that we are the one who creates our environment, when we let the mental tape recordings of yesterday run our life.
  • If you argue for your limitations long enough, sure enough, they are yours. Start arguing in favor of what you want and recognize that persistence is the key.
  • Loved this small yet powerful sentence – “Pray to God, but row to shore.” Meaning have faith that you’ll receive what you are asking, while continuously working for it.

I have also created a video of a few quotes from the book – Hope you like it. Please do subscribe to my YouTube channel – Myread4change


As you finish reading this book and the liberating Idea it presents, you will be encouraged to question what drives your decisions? and will empower you to deep dive within and follow your heart.

As Terry mentions – As long as that which you do is ethical, as long as you do not want to hurt, steal, or take from another person, then the lifestyle you choose has to be good.

Hope this summary helped you in some way. Please share your thoughts in the comment. I would love to hear from you.

You may download What You Think of Me is None of My Business E-Book here. If you like this book, you may also like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Thank you for reading. Wish you a wonderful life.


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