What You Think of Me is None of My Business Book Summary

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Book – What You Think of Me is None of My Business (Summary)

Author – Terry Cole-Whittaker

Genre – Self-help Book

Published in – 1979

“You’ll be less concerned with what others think of you once you realize how seldom they do.

What you think of me is none of my business. It empowers us to break through from the slavery of others’ opinions and dive into power within ourselves to guide us.

Once realized, it can empower us to be comfortable in our skin, take others’ opinions as an opinion, and not let our lives run by them. We give away our power to others by depending on their approval.

Terry cole - whittaker photo

About the Author

Terry Cole-Whittaker is one of the world’s premier inspirational and spiritual teachers and empowerment speakers.

Her Emmy-winning television ministry, With Love, Rev. Terry, aired on four hundred stations, reached millions, and inspired many to pursue a life of service, life coaching, spiritual teaching, and healing.

About the Book

Terry claims that despite having power within all of us, we depend on others’ approval and mistake what others want for us for what we want for ourselves.

She explains why we seem to be going downhill instead of having this power within us and why that is unnecessary and unnatural.

She talks about the power within all of us and how you can use it to be what you want to be, to do what you want to do, and to have what you want in life.

Key Points From The Book

1) Power Within Us

  • She explains that most of our choices are unconscious, and the book aims to heighten consciousness and self-awareness so that we can choose consciously. Become a beneficiary of Change rather than a victim of it.
  • You may not have discovered it yet, but life is not “fair.” Yet life is “just.” Your life is in your hands. The power is there. The potential is there waiting for you to direct it.
  • One of the biggest obstacles we create is our resistance to Change. Most of us combat change from the day we are born until we die.

2) Abundance is Your Birth Right

  • Terry claims that our belief about our decisions about us and life determines the quality of our life. All the people having trouble with abundance have bought it into scarcity belief, i.e., there is not enough for everyone.
  • When you discover a belief, examine it. Ask yourself: “Who says this is true? Is this a law or only a belief?” If the Idea isn’t producing what you want, discard it. In its place, create a new belief you genuinely wish to have made in your world.
  • Don’t blame yourself for the situations you have created; accept them. And don’t try to lay the blame on other people, places, and things.

3) Get Rid of Guilt

  • There are two kinds of Guilt: real Guilt and false Guilt. Both can be intensely painful, and either may offer you an opportunity to transcend pain and know the ultimate experience of total love and self-expression.
  • False Guilt – False Guilt is that Guilt laid upon you by others to control you and make you responsible for their lives.
  • Real Guilt is when you deny another person his liveliness, natural ability, happiness, and self-expression; when you prohibit others from the support they need to believe in themselves.
  • Organized religion has created and perpetuated the belief that only the “right kind” of people will receive God’s love and blessings. The trouble is that other people – not God – judge who is and what makes a “right” person.

4) Others Are Not Your Source

  • Self-reliance depends on the deep conviction that others are not responsible for our happiness. Even though we need others to co-create life, God, our higher self, is the actual source from which all is fulfilled.
  • We mistake other people for the source of our good and give away our powers to them.
  • To re-gain our self-reliance, Terry suggests we give up two things –

1. You must give up every bit of self-hate, self-dislike, self-disapproval.

2. You must give up your obsessive need for approval from others. These include your mate, children, friends, parents, people you work with, neighbors, and everyone else.

5) Certainty of Purpose

  • Terry suggests having certainty of purpose leads to the inner peace, power, and love we seek. It means having confidence that we can attain our goals and have the ability to learn and pursue what we want.
  • As we deflect from this certainty, we let others influence us, believe in our inabilities, and give up on our dreams or become overly dependent on others.

She describes energies as three basic flows: The Helping Flow, The Crossing Flow, and The Opposing Flow.

  • Helping Flow – Terry suggests that in this game of life, others work as avenues; we often reject the Idea to make a point or didn’t come up with it first. She advises looking at all the help that comes neutrally, evaluating them, saying yes/no, and giving credit appropriately.
  • Crossing Flow – This is the gossip, criticism, and negative energy that can knock us off balance and keep us there – if we let it. We spend a lot of energy clarifying gossip and convincing others of its falsity. As mentioned in “Resisting Happiness” by Matthew Kelly, if you know the path you are walking is in line with what God would approve. Walk on.
  • Opposing Flow – The third energy flow (a great deflector) is the opposing flow. “You can’t do that, and I won’t let you.” Sound familiar? Spending your energy trying to destroy the opposition can create misery and sickness for yourself and others.

7) Argue For Your Limitations, and They are Yours

  • We only feel trapped by our circumstances when we forget that we are the one who creates our environment when we let the mental tape recordings of yesterday run our life.
  • If you argue for your limitations long enough, they are yours. Start arguing about what you want and recognize that persistence is the key.
  • I loved this small yet powerful sentence – “Pray to God, but row to shore.” Have faith that you’ll receive what you ask while continuously working for it.

I have also created a video of a few quotes from the book – I hope you like it. Please subscribe to my YouTube channel – Myread4change.


As you finish reading this book and its liberating Idea, you will be encouraged to question what drives your decisions? and it will empower you to dive within deep and follow your heart.

As Terry mentions – As long as that which you do is ethical, as long as you do not want to hurt, steal, or take from another person, then the lifestyle you choose has to be good.

I hope this summary helped you in some way. Please share your thoughts in the comments.

If you like this book, you may also like The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck.

Thank you for reading. I wish you a wonderful life.


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