Book – How to Win Friends and Influence People (Review)
Author – Dale Carnegie
Genre – help
Originally Published – 1936
As much as good intentions count, conveying this intention without good communication skills will hardly do any good. Looking at this Book in a bookstore for a long time, I used to think I didn’t need to read such a book and that I was already good at making friends and getting along with people well.
I made a big mistake not picking this book sooner. I am reading this Book for the 4th time now and still learning a lot. I need to get better at many principles shared in the Book.
They were initially published in 1936. This Book is as relevant as it was then. Artificial Intelligence and machines are replacing humans in lots of work. Yet, people with excellent interpersonal skills will never find themselves out of work as people like to deal with people they like and trust, even if they may not be the best in the field.
The Book is filled with elementary yet profound principles and real-life examples of people who learn and apply these principles daily and get great results.
About the Author –
Dale Carnegie was an American lecturer, writer, and developer of self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills courses.
He is best known for his best-selling Book How to Win Friends and Influence People, which was born from his course on personal development over some time. He also wrote the best-selling Book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living with Many Others.
About the Book –
More than a Book, this is more like a manual of human relations. Considering this Book was evolved from the textbook used in one of Dale Carnegie’s course and genuinely need to be reread at least once every two months.
As the author mentioned in the Book, “The rapidity with which we forget is astonishing.” Moreover, This Book is a course on improving human relations and a way to a happier life.
As Psychologist and Philosopher William James put it – “Action seems to follow feeling, but really action and feeling go together; and by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling, which is not.”
The principles in the Book seem so simple, yet implementing the same can be challenging, given our current habits and how we handle any conversation.
One thing is sure, though: practicing and mastering the same can significantly impact our conversation with others. You will still learn much from this Book, no matter your interpersonal skills.
As Robin Sharma, author of The 5 A. M Club says, “Knowing what to do and not doing the same is as good as not knowing what to do.”
All the principles shared in the Book require a person to apply as we can’t fake appreciation or smile genuinely. That is one of the reasons so simple principles are challenging to apply in the actual situation and need practice. The Book says, “Only knowledge that is used sticks in mind.”
To become good at this, one needs to work on oneself; hence, this is not only a new way of communication; it’s a new way of life.
Few Points that I liked most and Doing My Best to Implement–
- Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and makes him strive to justify himself.
- Think in terms of what others want.
- Be a good listener.
- Talks in terms of other people’s interests.
- Avoiding an argument is the only way to get the best out.
- Let the other person talk, listen attentively, and refrain from interrupting. Until the other person has something left to say, he will not be attentive to what you say.
Few Quotes From The Book –
- Compared to what we ought to be, we are only half awake.
- Nothing is good or bad, but our thinking makes it so. – Shakespeare
- Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be – Abraham Lincoln
- The man, convinced against his will, agrees still.
I have also created a video of a few quotes from the Book – I hope you like it. Please subscribe to the channel – Myread4change.
If you decide to start reading, I suggest starting with How to Win Friends and Influence People. If you are already a reader and feel you don’t need to learn such simple stuff, read this, and you will be amazed at the improvement you can bring to your daily conversation for good.
I hope this review inspires you to get this Book, which is worth more than any course you may take to improve your communication.
Do share your feedback in the comments. I would love to hear from you.